HOLY LAUGHTER?

I know I usually use this blog for an opportunity to just share general thoughts and promote general thoughts in your life...whoever you may be. But, I thought tonight I would share a more specific thought with you that I had today. I had this thought while sitting in chapel this morning. It occured after the speaker made a semi-comedic comment and a gentle rumble of laughter came over the audience. Well...gentle for the most part...there is this guy...he is present in most chapel services and almost without fail he laughs OUT LOUD at every comment that could be remotely funny. When i say out loud, I don't mean simply louder than everyone else, I mean...HIGH PITCH...crazy laughing. Such was the instance today. Oh...and usually after his outburst, there is rise in the volume of the laughter from the audience...not in reaction to the comment of the speaker, but in reaction to the CRAZINESS of this dude's high pitch riduculous laughter.
Well, I say ridiculous...because it seems so. But today I had another thought. God has been teaching me about humility and making me more and more aware of the self-focused pride that invades much of my thinking. He used today's laughing event to make me more aware...let me explain.
I have no idea of the heart of the "happy laugher" that I described above, but I do have an idea about my own heart. I wondered this..."Why don't I laugh out loud like that guy?" Is it because I don't think the comment was funny? Is it because I don't have the vocal chords that that dude has? Am I trying to be appropriate? Well, I don't think that the answer to this question is really all that important, in fact, I really don't think it matters at all. But what does matter is that one of the primary thoughts that came to my mind in that moment was..."Is it pride that is holding me back?" "Am I trying to fit in with the rest of these dignified seminarians, and just give a curteous chuckle, rather than let loose with good ol' gut laugh?" "IS PRIDE MY MOTIVATION?"
I stopped in that moment and just thanked God for doing a work in my heart. It was evident that sanctification is happening. The Holy Spirit was present with me in that moment bringing to mind my own depravity and reminding me to boast only in the cross and not in my own good manners.
Well, after considering my heart in the matter, I am confident that it was not pride that held back a loud outburst, but rather a desire to be appropriate and good mannered for the Glory of God. I am sure you are thinking..."WOW, Clif that is really something to brag about! (in a sarcastic tone)"
Well, the point here is simply that I am rejoicing tonight not that I have good manners, but rather that God has done a work in my heart bringing me to the point where I am thinking on these terms...questioning my motives and seeking to weed out specific roots of pride in my heart. CERTAINLY, I am not a "humble" person, I have a long road and a hard battle to fight against my pride, but I wanted to share this small victory with you, in hopes that it would encourage you in your battle.